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How A Constitutional America Would Handle Cuba

3/21/2016

 
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By Chris Rossini

Time for a mental exercise.

Let's imagine that the "land of the free" was, you know, actually the land of the free. Let's pretend that the government actually operated within the confines of the U.S. Constitution. How would an American president handle a trip to Cuba in that situation? What would he say?


Perhaps something like this:
Hello people of Cuba. I'm so very pleased to have the opportunity to take this short trip to visit you. Most of my foreign engagements are done via video conferencing now. But since our countries are so close, I was able to get away for a couple of hours.

I only have a few things to say, but they are very important. I'll start out by expressing sincere regret for how the government that I represent has treated you in the past. Decade after decade of economic sanctions that ended up hurting you. That was such a bad idea. 

Also, I express sincere regret for the attempted coups. You have to understand that my country went through what is now referred to as the "exceptionalism" phase. We're quite embarrassed by it now, but we're doing our best to leave those dreadful years behind us.

In doing so, I have some very special news to share with all of you. I would like present a liberating opportunity for the people of Cuba. I'm pleased to announce that it is now the official policy of The United States of America to completely open the doors of commerce with your country.

While I cannot speak for your government, the door is now wide open on our end. 

When I speak of commerce, I mean genuine commerce, and not the cronyism that has plagued the American past. You'll notice that I did not bring any Congressmen, American CEO's, or Senators with me today. I'm not talking about special deals, or exclusive contracts, or monopoly privileges. I'm speaking of real voluntary commerce between everyone in our respective countries.

Notice that I do not hold in my hand any "trade agreements" that number in the thousands of pages. That was cronyism, and government-managed trade. Yes, those deals were sold as "free trade" but that was total nonsense, and now thankfully those bogus agreements are behind us as well.

I can see the hesitation in your eyes. This is an unusual idea, especially here in Cuba. But I'm being sincere. The doors are open for trade, and there are no bureaucrats or red tape that will stand in your way.

Believe me, we had swarms of bureaucrats during our "exceptionalism" years. There were millions of them, and they were making mucho dinero to say the least. But that had to end, and thankfully it did.

So I'll repeat it again. From the American perspective, Cubans and Americans may trade with one another in the same way that New Yorkers may trade with Pennsylvanians. The American government will not get involved in your transactions. We're there just to enforce American laws against those who decide to commit aggressive force or fraud. Besides that, your business is your business, and not ours.

As I said before, I cannot speak for your government. They may not like this deal that I'm proposing to you. But that is their choice, and it would be up to you to persuade them otherwise. 

If your government keeps the door closed on you, then there is really nothing that I can do but wish you well. That may sound strange, but believe me when I tell you that it's true.

During our "exceptionalism" phase, we tried and tried to remake the world by force. Boy did we create nothing but ruin and bankruptcy. We took our lumps and learned our lessons the hard way. We will not repeat those mistakes again.

Today, we do our best to set a great example, and hope that other nations try to mimic us. Many don't, and that's just the way it is.

You will not see any NGO's in Cuba. Our politicians will not come here to hand out cookies. 
We've learned that the affairs of other nations are none of our business. We accept the world as it is now. 

While I cannot help you change your government, I can place before you
 unrestricted American commerce. You may decide not to take of advantage of it now, but it's there for your taking. Three hundred million Americans are ready to interact peacefully with you.

Thank you for having me. You truly live in a beautiful paradise. When my administration expires, I hope to have the ability to vacation here with my family. But for now, I must head back to my country.

I have just enough money on me to buy myself an authentic Cuban sandwich, and then off I go.

I wish you all life, liberty, and property.

Thank you!
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